Looking Back Without Living There: How the Past Can Strengthen Our Faith Today
When I was learning to drive, one of the things I had to practice was looking in the rearview mirror in order to see if there was a car or person behind me. Sometimes I had to turn my head to get a better view, because that rearview mirror would only reveal so much.
Later, the mirrors on cars came with lights to alert you if a car was coming up next to you. But I still don’t totally trust those lights; I still use the rearview mirror quite a bit. While we glance into the mirror, we can’t fixate on what’s behind us, because we have to look ahead to see that we are in the right lane and not veering off somewhere.
Looking back in the mirror shows us where we’ve been. Looking ahead helps us see where we are going.
Life is truly like that. If we look back in our lives, we see those memories - some good, some bad. We see what we have lived through and what we miss. Sometimes God uses our memories that way.
The Difference Between Remembering and Staying Stuck
It’s good to look back at the past. We find ourselves smiling at the funny things that have happened, the memories that we’ve shared with loved ones, and we may even see what we have learned from mistakes or failure. But if we try to live in the past, we only find that we can be trapped with guilt or regret.
It's important to move forward while holding the positive things in our memories. God often teaches us through our memories. It also puts things into perspective for us. As new trials or events happen, we learn how to get through them by moving forward with hope. Or we learn from our mistakes and try not to make the same ones again.
What the Hard Seasons Revealed
Losing Daddy meant learning what true grief was at a young age. It was a life lesson a young person shouldn’t have to go through, but it happens. I learned that I didn’t have control over the bad things that happened in my life, but I had hope to move forward and trust a living God who would get me through. I felt anxiety as I moved into my teenage years and into college. Anxiety was that feeling of dread that something bad could happen, even when it did not. But it was hard to get my body and mind to understand that anxiety only made me sick to my stomach and with worry in my mind.
As other losses of family came along, I weathered those difficult seasons with God. He truly was my only way through them. I grieved again and again, but these times I knew God would help me deal with the dark hours and feelings that followed. I witnessed many deaths during those years where I saw a loved one take a final breath. It was incredibly difficult, but I also saw God’s hand in bringing hope to my fractured heart.
Instead of focusing on these events, I was able to focus a little more on what they taught me. As difficult as it was, I learned that life moved forward, even when I wanted to just stay in bed. I learned that being around others who cared was healing. God revealed several things to me during my trials, such as my need for control, feelings of anxiety and depression, and how He would provide what I needed when I needed it. His hand would always be there to grasp when I felt like I was sinking into a sea of hurt.
While I still suffer from all the things we as human beings feel when we lose a loved one, move through a new season that redefines us, or when relationships change, I find that my faith is still growing. I know that will continue until the day I die.
Grief is not a journey we take that ends somewhere in our 50s, 60s, or even our 80s. It is a lifelong process. And that is because grief is not just about death. It is about little losses or changes here and there that are part of our lives here on earth. Grief can hit you when your kids grow up and leave home, when a friend moves away and you no longer hear from her, when you thought life would turn out a certain way, but it goes in a totally different direction.
Thankfully, our God doesn’t change. He stays with us through the good and the bad.
Finding God’s Handprints in the Story
Looking in the rearview mirror, I can see God’s handprints all over my story. After Daddy’s death, God brought my extended family together where they cared for all our needs. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins were with us and provided the care we needed during this most difficult time. They opened their homes to us throughout the summer after Daddy died. Our church and community provided comfort and friendship for us as we grieved, knowing it was a very traumatic event for each one of us. Our church camp family and the rural community also helped us as we planned a farm sale and a big move to a different house near town.
At the time, I probably didn’t realize how blessed we were. Looking back, I realize we had a wonderful family and community who provided protection for us as we entered this difficult chapter. Above all, God held us in the palm of His hand.
Most of the time, we don’t see God’s hand while we are going through difficult times, but we can often see His hand in everything when we look back.
The Lessons Worth Carrying Forward
It’s one thing to look back at what God has done and how family and friends have been there for you. But I hope to be able to face new trials, knowing God is with me from the beginning. I want to be able to move toward faith in knowing God is already there as trials come about.
During the past times of trials, I hope to have gained some wisdom about His ways, compassion toward others who go through trials, perseverance in the waiting, and faith and hope in knowing that I have God’s Word, the Bible, and prayer as tools to use in understanding that He always has a plan, even during the hard times.
I’ve seen His plan when a couple of flat tires kept us from the field where Daddy died. I watched Him provide the news to us through the comfort of my grandparents’ arrival during just the right time. And I felt His love through family, friends, and a community of people who cared for us during one of the most difficult times of our lives.
Looking Ahead with Greater Confidence
Because of what God has done in my past, I can move forward. While trials seem to come when we least expect them and tend to hit hard, we learn to trust Him again and again. If we’ve lived long enough, we have plenty of problems to look back at.
But even if you are young, you can face future trials with the knowledge that Jesus will be with you. I think the key is knowing the promises from His Word and praying without ceasing. I used to spend a lot of time learning memory verses for Vacation Bible School and for church camp. When I went off to college, I let that go because I was so busy with classes. Then there was marriage, children, and work. There always seems to be an excuse not to stay close to God. But we HAVE to walk forward in faith and keep up those practices as much as possible.
Our memories of a loved one are wonderful, but they shouldn’t keep us looking back. God wants us to remember what He has done in our lives so that we gain strength for the future.
The Closing
The Rearview Mirror and the Road Ahead
It’s hard to look back at some of the hardest times of my life, but I look back now to see God’s faithfulness in my life. Every trial has taught me something. Every season of my life has given me a better picture of just who God is. The rearview mirror reminds me where I've been in my life, but my eyes should look ahead, so that I can trust God for those things that are in the future.
Reflection Question
Has God been faithful to you throughout your trials? What examples from the past have taught you the most about Him?
Call to Action
Make a list of five difficult times in your life. Then write one way God helped, gave you comfort or strength, or taught you during each of those times.
Breath Prayer
Inhale: Thank You for Your faithfulness, God.
Exhale: Help me trust You ahead.
Closing Hope
We shouldn’t live in the past, but it can give us a strong perspective about the God who has cared for us through our journeys.
